Common Kegel mistakes — and why relaxing matters

Kegel exercises look simple, but not everyone gets them right from a description. In one study, after brief verbal instruction, only 49% of women performed an ideal contraction, and 25% used a technique that could even promote leakage (Bump et al., 1991). Here are the most common mistakes — and the part people often forget: relaxing.

Mistake 1: squeezing the wrong muscles

Your stomach, thighs and buttocks should stay relaxed. Tightening other muscles puts more pressure on your bladder, making leaks more likely (NIDDK). Don't pull your tummy in hard, squeeze your legs together or clench your buttocks (CUH). The lower tummy may flatten slightly — that's normal — but nothing above your belly button should tighten (Pelvic Floor First).

Mistake 2: bearing down instead of lifting

The right feeling is "squeeze and lift up and in". If you bear down, the muscles push downwards instead. Check by touch: as you contract, the muscles should lift up and away from your fingers — behind the scrotum in men, at the perineum in women (Prostate Cancer UK).

Mistake 3: holding your breath

Keep breathing normally throughout (NIDDK; Prostate Cancer UK). If you can't contract without holding your breath, use less effort or a shorter hold.

Mistake 4: exercising while you pee

Stopping your urine flow can be used occasionally to find the muscles, but not as an exercise — it can stop your bladder emptying fully (NIDDK; CUH).

Mistake 5: forgetting to relax

The pelvic floor needs to relax fully as well as lift and hold. Constantly bracing your "core" can make the muscles excessively tight and stiff. Stiffness often comes with weakness and can contribute to urgency and leakage, and an overly tight pelvic floor is also linked with pelvic pain, painful sex and difficulty emptying the bladder (Pelvic Floor First).

How to practise relaxing:

• after each squeeze, let go completely — as you would to pass urine or wind — and let your tummy relax (Pelvic Floor First);
• rest for at least as long as you held: for example, a 10-second hold followed by 10 seconds' rest (Prostate Cancer UK);
• breathe calmly and notice the feeling of letting go.

Mistake 6: doing more and more

More repetitions do not mean faster results. Overdoing it can lead to straining when you urinate or open your bowels (NIDDK), and the pelvic floor muscles get tired like any others (Prostate Cancer UK). Do only as many as you can with good technique.

Mistake 7: giving up after a week

You may notice better bladder control after 3 to 6 weeks (NIDDK), but it can take up to three months (Prostate Cancer UK). NICE encourages women to keep training throughout life, because long-term training keeps helping (NICE NG210).

Mistake 8: using exercises instead of getting checked

Leaking, urgency and pain are not always caused by weak muscles, and strengthening may not be the right treatment (Pelvic Floor First). A pelvic floor professional can assess both contraction and relaxation and tailor a programme for you (NICE NG210).

When to see a professional

• you have pain during the exercises, during sex or in the pelvis;
• you find it hard to start peeing or to empty your bowels;
• you can't feel the muscles contract or relax;
• your symptoms have not improved after a few months of regular practice.

KegelFit offers a Kegel exercise timer and video workouts. The timer guides the rhythm of squeezing and resting, including relaxation pauses, but it does not check your technique or measure muscle strength. Free to download, with in-app purchases: Google Play · App Store.

Sources

1. NIDDK. Kegel Exercises (last reviewed November 2021). https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/urologic-diseases/kegel-exercises
2. Cambridge University Hospitals NHS. Pelvic floor exercises in men: frequently asked questions (version 11, 13 September 2024). https://www.cuh.nhs.uk/patient-information/pelvic-floor-exercises-in-men-frequently-asked-questions/
3. Prostate Cancer UK. Pelvic floor muscle exercises (updated April 2025). https://prostatecanceruk.org/prostate-information-and-support/living-with-prostate-cancer/pelvic-floor-muscle-exercises
4. Continence Health Australia. Pelvic Floor First: The pelvic floor and core. https://www.pelvicfloorfirst.org.au/pages/the-pelvic-floor-and-core.html
5. Continence Health Australia. Pelvic Floor First: Pelvic floor exercises for women. https://www.pelvicfloorfirst.org.au/pages/pelvic-floor-muscle-exercises-for-women.html
6. Continence Health Australia. Pelvic Floor First: Men. https://www.pelvicfloorfirst.org.au/pages/men.html
7. NICE. Pelvic floor dysfunction: prevention and non-surgical management (NG210), 2021. https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng210
8. Bump RC, et al. Assessment of Kegel pelvic muscle exercise performance after brief verbal instruction. Am J Obstet Gynecol. 1991;165(2):322–327. https://doi.org/10.1016/0002-9378%2891%2990085-6